


Lowom, And Other Ways To Define Yourself

by Haza_Souz



Series: Shining, Shimmering, Loving [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/F, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), drags myself in months alter with a meagre update, my WoL x Minfilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21872323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haza_Souz/pseuds/Haza_Souz
Summary: [SPOILERS up to past the end of the 2.0 storyline.]The words you use for yourself mean things to yourself, or, communication is needed for a healthy relationship.
Relationships: Minfilia Warde/Warrior of Light
Series: Shining, Shimmering, Loving [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487270
Kudos: 7





	Lowom, And Other Ways To Define Yourself

It was a wonderful day, and an even more wonderful day in the Twelveswood. Little snippets of birdsong melded together into a greater melody, the wind rustling the trees to dapple the grassy paths with sunlight. The only thing that could make the journey better for Minfilia, in fact, was being able to hold her girlfriend's hand.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it?" Asch murmured, one hand busy keeping the backpack stedy via a strap, the other dragging a small wheeled case full of transported files behind her. "I'm almost sad we're nearly at the Blue Badger Gate."

Minfilia sighed, not for the first time feeling a twinge of guilt for making Asch help her with carrying the paperwork for the Scions' agreement with Gridania. Asch's insistence, while sweet, was taking its toll on the white-haired mage. Especially since she knew that Asch almost never went the long roads, using aetherytes to move around...

"Almost as beautiful as you, sweetness," Minfilia replied, and giggled softly as Asch blushed a pleasant red. "Oh - come now, Asch, it's been nearly a month! Haven't you got used to my words yet?"

"It's hard," Asch mumbled, through a giddy smile. She leaned in close to brush her lips against Minfilia's cheek - but stopped short at the last second, nudging her blonde girfriend's head softly instead.

"Asch?"

"Yes- oh! Look, Minfilia, the Gate! There should be a Wood Wailer somewhere nearby, on guard..."

Asch looked into the undergrowth, and when an elezen man emerged to greet them and make sure they weren't Ixal, Minfilia found herself dwelling on what had just happened. And Asch had been so very affectionate after the Ultima Weapon's defeat...

\--

"Asch! Child, it's been too long," Miounne laughed, leaning over the counter to give the Warrior of Light a full, hearty embrace. The older Elezen woman smiled, beaming, turning to Minfilia and adding a little bow of the head. "And you must be the Antecedent, if I am not mistaken?"

"At your service, Mother Miounne," Minfilia said, answering with a bow of her own. "My Asch has told me that you were the one who helped her find her feet when she was but a little sprout, washed up at the gates of Gridania with an inkling of conjury and a bright smile."

"That would be me." Miounne was a fond, gentle woman, though as they shook hands Minfilia could feel the slight over-smoothness of palm that spoke of a long life cradling a mage's staff. "She really has grown up with amazing speed... She makes all of us here at the Guild proud to be her ex-guildmates, you know."

"I do," Minfilia said fervently, ignoring the gently-dying Asch on the sides, overwhelmed from praise and being called 'my Asch'. She hefted the full bag of travel gear on her shoulder, wincing. "Ah, but we'll have to swap stories another time. The journey - while pleasant, as any walk in the peaceful Twelveswood - was maybe a little too long at the end. Am I right in supposing that you are the person to talk to about hiring an inn room, so that we may be fresh for our audience with the Seedseer tomorrow noon?"

"You would, except for a little thing - Asch, as a Hero in Gridania, has her own personal inn room maintained here. No need to get a room seperately."

Minfilia brightened visibly, even as Asch withdrew into her shoulders. "Oh? That's lovely news - Asch, dear, would I be permitted to join you in your room, for expedience and simplicity's sake?"

Asch looked at Minfilia, glanced past her to Miounne, then looked away - and now alarm bells were softly ringing for Minfilia. "Er... yes, certainly," Asch said uncertainly. Why was she quailing so?

Miounne clapped. "Well - then the two of you can head up now! Simply speak to the innkeep and he'll organise the oaklift for carrying your bags to your level. No need to lug all of those things up three rows of stairs."

"We thank you for your kindness and assistance, Mother Miounne," Minfilia said and inclined her head in respect, then turning to Asch and reaching out to brush her fingers against Asch's arm. "Asch? ...Shall we?"

"Yes! Um... yes, sorry, Minfilia," Asch said, giving a quick smile.

And now those alarm bells were ringing aloud.

\----

"Asch? ...May I speak with you?"

Minfilia stood with her arms in front of her, watching ehr white-haired lover sit slumped over on the edge of the large bed. Asch's head rose, and she blinked twice, slipping a smile onto her face. "Hm? Yes, of course, Minfilia, go ahead."

"I... am worried about you," she said cautiously, and raised her hands soothingly when Asch's neck tensed. "Please don't misunderstand me, Asch, but... I feel as though you might be worried about something, and I want to help you if I can."

"It's..." Asch's head wavered back and forth, until she sucked in a breath and clasped her hands, elbows resting on her knees, making her look far older than she was. "Well... I might need to go back a bit and explain. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Please, tell me all you feel I need to know." Minfilia slowly pulled the chair over from the dresser and sat on it, a distance between them. She tried to smile reassuringly, even as worries began to churn her stomach.

"So..." Asch pushed her hair aside, the quasi-mane spilling across her forehead. "...In the place I come from, there's not really much of a romance culture, like there is here, in Eorzea. I know about the middle of the Second umbral Moon, and the gifts, and the half of Ul'dah's income that comes from gift-buying now, but that was all new to me. So..."

Asch wrung her hands, avoiding eye contact. Minfilia nodded patiently, aching to hug Asch, but knowing she needed the space to colelct herself. "So, I know that some women grew attachments to others, and some men to other men, and some others to fellow others, and combinations of those. And some people like that wanted to find a way to name themselves, to have a term for their preferences in order to be able to explain it easier."

"And those terms are...?"

"Well, a woman who lov- cared for women, I always heard that being called 'lowom' - 'lover of women'. The male counterpart is called 'melom' - men who love men." Asch screwed up her brow. "...Actually, maybe it started with the term for men, and then the women came up with their variant of it? And then people who care for other-gendered people were called... argh, I think it was 'o-loven'? Sorry, It's been a while since I learned this..."

"No need to apologise," Minfilia said, and then paused for a moment. "...In Eorzea, or at least in the major cities and regions, I've heard of the term 'lesbian'. Is that in any way...?"

Asch glanced up, then immediately away, her hands clasping tightly for a moment. "Well... I think that lowom is a term for... I mean to say that, well, although I..."

Minfilia moved forwards, crouching before Asch and waiting for a moment for permission - then laying a soothing hand on her knee. "Asch, Asch, it's okay."

"No, I mean - I'm not a lowom. But- oh, sorry, not like that, I mean, I love you, Minfilia..."

That pounding drumbeat of fear had risen quickly in Minfilia's chest, but she swallowed and kept it at bay. "I know, and I love you too, Asch-"

"But not in the same way!"

Silence. Minfilia felt the words sink in, and then moved her hands off Asch's knees as though made of white-hot metal. "I-I see. I..."

Asch gulped down a sob, and it broke Minfilia's heart to see the faintly glistening eyes of her dearest. "I, I care for you much more than jsut that. I know that, well, sometimes affection is a measure of emotional caring, but I..." Minfilia reeled under the mess of words, but there was no stopping the dam that had burst in Asch's throat. "I feel things, for you. Your clothing makes me feel things, and I feel warm and heated when we hug clsoely, and... I, well, d-do you understand?"

Minfilia only barely had a grip, but nodded anyway.

"I... I like you more than just as a lowom. I, I think you're amazing, smart, and beautiful, yes, but I also..." Asch gulped, steeling herself. "...I want to go bed with you."

Oh. ...Ohhh.

While the blonde was still processing that, Asch wiped her eyes quickly. "And, I know that you might not feel the same way, or in the same way, I mean, I-I want you to know that I didn't mean to take you to Gridania to bring you to an inn room and share a bed, please, I want you to know that wasn't my inten-"

"Asch?" It was a timid word, but Asch immediately shut up, eyes wide and locked on Minfilia. As Minfilia's smile widened, Asch only looked more confused. "I... absolutely feel the same way about you."

"I'm sorr- eh?" Asch blinked and her upper body did a double take. "Um...? But, ah, you never really were there for touching my hand, or, well, never did anything or went further, so I..."

"Oh, Asch, I'm so sorry," Minfilia said with a light, relieved laugh, her shoulders relaxed. "I was jsut worried that I was going to take advantage of you - everything at the Praetorium was so exhausting that I wanted to take it slow, and not rush into anything."

"Oh. Oh?" Asch let out a breath she might ahve been holding since the start of their talk, and then, very gently, put her hands on her face. "Oh..."

"Asch?"

"..."

Minfilia got up, sitting down beside Asch on the bed, gently rubbing across her back.

"...I'm an idiot..."

"Oh, Asch, no..." Minfilia gingerly wrapped her arms around the embarrassed girl of her dreams, feeling comfortable to hug her tightly once Asch leaned into her, making soft cooing sounds to her. "Shh, no, it's my fault too. I never talked about it with you, and I made you worry and fret."

"Minfilia, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot," sniffed Asch, unfolding her hands from her head and hugging Minfilia back; two women in a fond hug, leaning on each other with only the occasional sigh of self-infuriation coming from each of them.

At length, they loosened the hug - heads close together and smiling, a little stupidly.

"So..."

"Hm?" Minfilia smiled, bumping her forehead against Asch's.

"...The word is lesbian?"

"Yes, love. And... I see myself as a lesbian, Asch."

Asch sighed in relief. "Then... I think I'll call myself that too." Minfilia giggled and fondly bumped their noses together, Asch returning the joyful little sound, and then they tilted their heads to kiss. Understanding, love, flowed between them again, brighter than before, their bond and emotions aligned.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Asch. In every way you said it."

"...O-oh...?"

...But, maybe Minfilia and Asch were a little more ready for taking their love further, after that day.


End file.
